What Does 18 Years Mean?
It means going from young to middle-aged together. From talking about everything to “what’s for dinner” being the main conversation. From three times a week to “wait, has it been a month?”
Not because we don’t love each other. We’re just tired. Kids, work, mortgage, parent-teacher conferences. After everything’s done, the only energy left is for one word: “sleep.”
The Anniversary Gift
Last anniversary, Lisa gave me a Highlight Time. Honestly, my first thought: are you hinting at something? Do you think I’m not performing?
She laughed. “No. I just think… we haven’t really been ‘together’ in a long time.”
Rediscovering Each Other
- That weekend, the kids were at a friend’s house overnight. Just us.
- We actually spent half an hour reading the manual together — 18 years married, we even read manuals together.
- Then sat on the couch, taking turns touching it, like kids with a new toy.
- We weren’t even using it anymore. We were talking. Not about the kids, not about bills — about us.
- She said: “Remember when we first got together? What did we do on weekends?” I said: “Slept in. Woke up, went for brunch, came back and slept some more.”
One Hour Every Friday
The New Ritual
Now, every Friday night after the kids are asleep, we keep an hour — just an hour — for each other. Two cups of tea, sitting on the couch, that little thing between us. Sometimes we use it, mostly we don’t. It’s like a little marker: this hour is for us.
What It Really Means
Last week, Lisa said: “You know, this Highlight Time — it’s not really that little thing. It’s this hour.”
I said: “True. But without that little thing, we might never have thought to empty out this hour.”
My Highlight Time: not the little thing itself. It’s that it reminds us — we still have each other.
